The Flying Stars/transcript
You've dropped another one. I don't see why we couldn't just catch the bus like any normal person. I could give you a piggyback? And what would the Adamses say if we turned up at Ruby's birthday like that? Well, it was good enough for St Christopher. Anyway, you can't be the best pastry chef this side of Paris and maintain peak fitness. Nobody's perfect. Not that you'd know it if you met the Adams. They're the model family. Nobody's perfect. Here, darling. Let me. Mm. It's just a little one. It's my daughter's birthday, I'm allowed a little one. You promised me! We're going to be late. I won't have Ruby see you like this. You're hurting me! You know what I said, if you went back on the drink - I meant it! I want a divorce. Have you forgotten what YOU promised? Catholic marriage is till death do us part. Yours will be sooner rather than later, the way you're going. Is that a threat? No. Well, it ought to be. The only way I leave this marriage... is in a coffin. Does your godmother get a birthday kiss, too? Don't worry. I don't want to give your poor father a coronary. Your secret's safe with me. It's not a secret. We're making the announcement today. John and I are engaged. - Over my dead body. Mum... - Engaged to the tutor? My daughter is not marrying a lowlife trot like you. You think? What will you do about it? She's not herself, she'll come round. Like hell I will. She needs my permission to marry. And I'm not giving it. So you can whistle for your wedding. Oh, and Mr Van Ert... you're fired. Egyptian, this one. What kind of a cheapskate puts a foreign coin in a church collection? Better than a button. I don't know. I came across some rather nice ones this morning, Father. When I get six that match, they're going on one of my cardies. Perhaps you can mend the hole in my pocket while you're at it. I am the parish secretary, not your seamstress. Why are we bringing these? The colonel travels. He might be able to give you some real money for them, waste not want not. Leave me alone! I won't put up with this! Are we late? Or has the play started early? Father, you didn't see notice on the gate? We cut across the fields. Party's cancelled. Mrs Adams is... unwell. Father, I'm sorry you've come all this way. The play's off. Did you hear Ann-Marie...? Rehearsing. She didn't want to let people down. But the fever's too strong. Well... As we're here... The least we can do is help you clear up. I've just finished. But there's masses of cake in the kitchen. You can certainly help us with that. Where are you going? This is very decent of you. I'm glad you understand our position. Dad, you can't make him go. No-one's making me do anything. John? I'm not leaving Ruby - just your house. I don't stay where I'm not wanted. What about us? There is no "us". Your mother and I can't bless this engagement, and without our consent, marriage isn't an option. Then, we'll just wait a year. We don't even have to do that. Who says we need to get married? You step over this threshold, you're never coming back. I HATE you. And don't think your mother will say any differently! Certainly not in the state SHE'S in. Now, dear, come on. You drink this. It's all right. Where's that blanket? She's frozen. Wrap it around her, quickly. Not a word about the argument, all right? I don't want her remembered like that, Ruby. Deal? There's nothing we could have done. She's already stiff. I... I really... It's an unfortunate accident. Nothing more. What about the scratches around her neck? Probably from twigs and weeds in the water. You can stand down now, Father. I'm satisfied everything's in order. Unless this is a clue? Italian, by the look of it. That must narrow down our pool of suspects, eh, Father? That? Er... no. That must be mine. It seems like everyone is hiding something. If I tell you, you must promise to let it drop, on your honour. If it's not criminal, I promise. She was tight. She'd had most of the bottle of vodka. I'm amazed she didn't fall over sooner. She was an alcoholic. Now you know why Reginald didn't want the whole world to know. Speaking of peccadilloes... if that's the quality of mourner around here, I'll be dropping by more often. Who's that? I don't know. Felicia. Welcome to Kembleford. Planning a long visit? I am now. Father Brown. My condolences. Mr... Short? Oh, no. My old nanny. Chrysanthemums always were her favourite. But she was the Adams' nanny. You aren't Anne-Marie's brother? On my way to see the family now. Are they expecting you? Everybody loves a surprise, don't they? I came straight from London airport, flew in from Nairobi this morning. So, you haven't heard? Heard what? Scared the hell out of me. Thought you were a robber or a brigand. Maybe I am. I think I've rather a talent for it. I can't see any harm in it anyhow. How can you even say that? I want to steal YOU away. Is that a crime? Then, why didn't you come back after we found Mum? I needed you. I did! The place was full of police. Your dad said he'd have me arrested for trespass. What? And you just went? I'm not a citizen. I can't risk it. Run away with me, Ruby, and leave them all behind. Dad's falling apart, he needs me. Now is not a good time. Well, when is? At least your mom isn't going to make any problems any more. I didn't mean it like that! You sound like you're glad she's dead. Eternal rest, grant unto her, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon her. And may she rest in peace. Amen. I'm sorry. I was... Who are you? Ruby, don't be so rude. There's no reason for her to recognise me. Even I don't have many photographs of me and your mum. But I want you to have this. Some things never change. We were rehearsing for some play she'd come up with. Look at the get-up I was in. Uncle James? Not looking too bad for two decades in the Kenyan sun. Happy Valley must have lived up to its name. I can't complain. Apart from arriving back here too late. What happened? I heard the bare bones but... The jetty's very slippery. I have been meaning to shorten the rope on the boat but maybe she tripped on the mooring. Or lost her balance on the boat. Here we are, Father. Not a patch on mine, but edible. Since you sell it so well, I'll pass. Hold the fort, would you, please, Mrs M? Call of nature. Father. Father, what are you doing? Didn't you hear Ruby? That's probably what happened to poor Anne-Marie. There's blood, under this oar. Well, maybe she fell into the boat and then hit her head on the oar in there. That's impossible. But the oars were right there when Ruby found her mother. Which tells us that Anne-Marie was hit by the oar and then the oar was put back. Can I tempt you to some more Barolo? Oh. Come on, let's send her off the way she lived. To my sister. Anne-Marie. Mrs Adams. Father, police are here. I'm sorry, they ask questions. Inspector. May I speak to you outside? I've just come from the lake. I need to speak to the colonel. Valentine? I need to speak to you urgently about Mrs Adams' death. I don't think so. It is rather important. What could be so important now? I believe it was murder. I believe you were involved. Where's the motive? This is ridiculous, Valentine, even for you. Susie Jasinski works for you, too, am I right, Father? She's my housekeeper but I don't see... And you consider her trustworthy? Yes, but... Miss Jasinski's just told me that, minutes before the murder, she heard you threatening Mrs Adams' life. What? But that's preposterous. He asked for a divorce. It can't be murder, it can't! And even if it were, it certainly wasn't Reginald! What scares me is, in that case, the real killer still walking free. Is it just me who's thinking it? She'd just fired Van Ert, forbidden your marriage. No way. Not John. They say most murders are committed by someone known to the victim. Who is this... Van Ert? Ruby's old tutor. He was thrown out of the States for being a Red. A Communist? Yeah. He must hate the aristocracy. The unfairness of people living in a pile like this. Maybe HE was after the diamonds. That's what they're all about - redistribution of wealth. It's true, he left pretty sharpish after she died. Because he'd just been sacked! I'm sorry, Ruby, but it has to be Van Ert. Do you deny that after she told you marriage was till death do you part, you said, "Well, yours is going to be sooner rather than later?" Yes! Well, no, but I didn't mean I'd kill her! We'd have come to an arrangement, worked something out. Mrs Adams was one of your lot. Would she ever have agreed to a divorce? As a devout Catholic, no, she would never... So we know the Colonel wanted out and his wife would never have let him go. We have motive, means, AND opportunity. Colonel, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder. You are not obliged to say anything unless you wish to do so but whatever you say will be taken down in writing and may be given in evidence. They have to let Dad out - it's Mum's funeral, for heaven's sake. The solicitor's doing everything he can. I'll try calling him again. You look... Like a dog's dinner. It's very kind of the colonel to lend me his things, but the suit's too short and, as I said when I called, his shoes are huge. Like clown feet. Size eight, right? You're lucky my husband's not a big man. Perfect. It all feels like a costume. Annie always did love a bit of theatre. It's a shame her last play never got performed. It didn't? It was supposed to go on the night she... The evening of the... I'm sorry... Hey, don't do that. I can't stand tears. I'm forced to do the most terrible, out-of-character things to try and stop them. Such as? We have to talk. Not now, John. Don't look at me like that. Half the village is giving me that expression. You don't really believe I killed her. Do you? Of course not. Then, I need your help. Your mother's death, a community like this, it's always going to blame the outsider. What are you saying? If you love me... I need an alibi. Well, there's a turn-up for the books. Colonel, I'm sorry I talked to Inspector. I didn't mean to make trouble. We all want the same thing, Susie - to see my wife's killer put away. It wasn't me. Do you believe me? Am I fired? At least you're upfront. Colonel Adams, welcome. You let him go? For now, he's been given bail. We had to. Doesn't mean I think he's innocent. If you would like to say a few words, please let me know. You will, of course, be a pallbearer. You can take Albert's place. I couldn't possibly disturb things now they've set things up. Well, nonsense. It's no trouble. Besides, I'm in uniform. It wouldn't match. I don't see... Father, my eulogy, may I ask? I take your point about uniform. Excuse me. It wasn't Colonel Adams. What?! Lady Felicia just told me, his back's shot - war wound. He couldn't carry the coffin. He couldn't have lifted and swung that oar. Poppycock! Look at him, his posture's perfect. Anyway, he would've told me. What, and have the whole town know he wears a girdle? He's a proud man. He may be a foolish man but he could not have killed Anne-Marie. But then, who did? "I do declare this day that I, Anne-Marie Adams, "being of sound mind..." Sorry. Sorry, I'm late. Apologies to all. Mr Higgins. Father. What's the priest doing here? We'll come to that, it's in the order of business. We'll start with a few special clauses. "Firstly, to my best friend, Felicia Montague, I leave various "mementos and trinkets of sentimental value." Oh! "And to my beloved daughter, Ruby..." The police returned them this morning. Those stones are dazzling. Ah, the Trewlove family heritage. The flying stars. Colonel, you asked for tea. They're so cold. Mum died in them, I don't want to wear them. What shall I do with them, then? Put them in the safe. They should be locked away. I'm left some sentimental items, books and photographs. The rest of her estate has been left in its entirety... to the church. Most unexpected and very generous. Did Anne-Marie not leave anything for her brother? Well, I don't need her money. I can't wear her jewels. Actually, I'm interested in a different kind of legacy. Her play. What do you mean? It was cancelled the day she died. I want to restage it. Get everybody on board. Family, friends, servants. Make it a celebration of Annie's life. But... We can't let her killer stop us performing the last thing she ever wrote. He's right. Uncle James, you could take John's role and, Felicia, you could stand in for Mum. It'll be a bit of a scramble but I think we can make it happen, by the end of the week? Saturday, it is. I don't understand. It's perfect. Everybody in the house will be watching so no-one will see. I'll leave the stage in Act Two and they won't look for me till curtain call. So we're really going to do it? We're eloping? If you'll take me without a penny to my name. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have never understood how you can play chess against yourself. This is not a game. Yes, Father, that's what my Frank used to say about poker. These are not pieces, these are suspects. We can discount the colonel and John Van Ert. Why the tutor? He's a Communist. Oh, obviously, why didn't I think of that? Communism, Socialism. It's all Greek to me. Who wants to socialise with the working classes anyway? I don't see the attraction of spending my nights off with chimney sweeps and the like. A Communist doesn't have to go drinking with chimney sweeps. He wants the chimney swept and the sweeps paid. But he won't allow you to own your own soot. From the marks on Anne-Marie's neck, we know that the murderer was after her jewels. But the one thing we know for sure about John Van Ert is that he's not interested in worldly goods. So, who else is there? Lady Felicia was at the scene. And Ruby. Yes. But neither of them have sufficient motive. Which leaves one last possibility. James. We know he and his sister fell out so badly that they didn't talk to each other and she cut him out of her will. There must be real animosity there. Sure, he wasn't even in the country. Well, we only have his word for that. Boo! Why are you here? Well, it's not for the sparkling conversation. You've got no reason to be hanging around. Really, do you reckon? Cos I hear they've got this really pretty new parlour maid. Hmm. And I just brought a couple of rabbits. Just waiting for my one and six. Earning an honest penny? Not like you. Mm. What are you really here for, hmm? Quick, someone's coming. Kiss me. Hang on. You have excuse for why you're here. Yeah, but it was fun, though, wasn't it? Wasn't that Uncle just slipping out? And up to no good. Well, that IS interesting. Susie told me this morning. She saw James herself? Bit of gusto, Dad, please? And Mrs McCarthy rang London Airport and there WASN'T a flight from Nairobi on the morning of the wake. So what do you think? I think you're being too suspicious. He's a decent man. Interesting, educated - you should hear him on... the Vatican. He probably knows as much about it as you do. Don't you think that's strange in a man who spent two decades in Africa? I think it's commendable. Help, police, the safe's been broken into! Oh, erm, five minutes, Inspector? Go from seeing the empty safe, Dad. We need real horror. Looks who's here. Help, police, the safe's been broken into! Excuse me. Much better. Don't raise your suspicions about James with him. You'll just make a fool of yourself. And when has that ever bothered me? Father... I don't know about the flights but the reason he's been creeping about at night... is to see me. Felicia, your cue. I hope I can rely on your discretion. As the next scene begins, the stage is dark. Police! I know you're in there. Come out and... I wouldn't do that. Keep your hands up where I can see them. You! I never thought for a second it would be you. I'll take that as a compliment. You'll never get away with this. Oh, Felicia, don't forget the ketchup. There's a bag for under your clothes, this needs to look real. We'll see about that. Not investigating, I hope, Father. Let's make the next scene-change really seamless. Apparently my spare cassock has a starring role. We'll see about that. James Trewlove is off the suspect list. I've already checked him out. But what about the flights? He was definitely still in Nairobi when Anne-Marie died. I have confirmation from the Chief of Police. And how does the Chief of Police know? Um... they were having dinner. How long have you worked here? Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, mm. When am I next on? Dad, I've stuck your cues up here. I put costumes out. Please, no-one mess up. Where have these been? Attic. Some of it dates back as far as YOUR day, so if it stinks, you know who to blame. The hall's filling up, take your positions. Is everybody ready? Amore mio, mi sto innamorando di te. That's beautiful. I wish I knew what it meant. THAT would be telling. How did you manage to learn Italian, anyway? Out in Africa? Well, that... would be telling... too! I suppose I should, or Felicia will never talk to me again. How much? A shilling. Daylight robbery! No good. Lira. Italian. Oh, like a bad penny. I should have left it where I dropped it by the lake. You didn't drop THIS one, Father. I'm collecting Italian coins for my pilgrimage to Rome. Well, the lira never left the presbytery. Father. I didn't think theatre was your thing. I'm not here for the show. Not that one, anyway. We're about to make an arrest. Who? Not John? Not Van Ert, no. He's got an alibi. When I spoke to Ruby earlier, she, erm... vouched for him. Are you telling me they were having sex? I do know what sex is, Inspector. And she won't be the first girl who lied for her lover. So who is your chief suspect? For once, we may be singing the same song. I'm here for Lady Felicia. When she comes off stage, I'm taking her in for questioning. Have you gone...? I've got witnesses who've seen her at the house in the small hours. Yes, but... That gives me clear motive. Her affair with the colonel, her best friend's husband. The Colonel? No, that's not right. James Trewlove saw them together. James did?! Are you sitting comfortably? Then, we'll begin. Here's a list of what I need... Susie, where are James' shoes? He needs heels with that dress. I couldn't find any. Feet too big. He's an eight. He could squeeze into Annie's. Those shoes you gave to him for the funeral swamped him. Shoes I put out were Mr Trewlove's. Nonsense, James didn't bring any formal shoes. Not from suitcase. From attic. unless his feet have shrunk... Here. See yourself. 'Well, good. Call me when it's ready. 'Until then, I'll be in my study. Phew! That was close!' Cue coming up - where are the heels? Here. Those are the best I could do. No, I'll have to wear mine. Help! Police! The safe's been broken into! And we're on. Come on! Go on! You're going to be great! Police! Oh, you're here! Help, police! I wouldn't do that if I were you. Put your hands up, don't say a word. Why would you do this to me? Didn't you hear me? I said shut up, or I'll shut you up! You and anyone trying to help. I always thought she was a little actress! You'll never get away with this. Help me! Help me! No! Isn't she brilliant?! We'll see about that! Excuse me. Dad, hadn't you better get changed? You're on again in five. I can't believe he'd betray us! Everything's lost! My dowry, my future... Cancel the wedding! I can hardly get married now! The safe's been broken into! Er, Dad... The safe's been broken into! We've done that scene! Listen, I'm not acting. We've been burgled. The Stars have gone! Woman in dark clothing came out the front door and got in a cab. Which way did she go? Down the drive. I'm relying on you to have overheard where to. Even if I knew where he was, do you think I'd hand him over? He's a thief, Ruby. Don't you see? He's betrayed you. He'd never do that. I hope you never catch him. Come on, this is ridiculous! Got him! No, it's not him! Don't you see - if I wanted to steal the diamonds, I could have done! They're mine! But Van Ert couldn't. And the Countess? Well, the fact that she's run means she's got something to hide. Solving a theft and a murder in one day, that's not a bad innings. Inspector, before he left, Father ask me to give you message. He said you must let Lady Felicia go. What is it with that priest? I don't turn up on Sundays to give his sermon! It's all right, dear. I haven't caught her yet. These were upstairs, packed and ready to go. Looks like your daughter was eloping. We were running away together, yes. It's not a crime! I'm sorry, darling, but it's obvious. He planned to steal the Stars, and leave without you. So, tell me. If you're right, where are the diamonds now? Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. On my life, it isn't him. There must be others without alibis! All watching the play. Except for the people in it! All accounted for. Apart from Felicia. Where's she? I believe the Countess could kill, but for love, not money. I don't believe she'd steal diamonds. That's not why she ran. Ran? You think she left? Well, she's not here. I was outside waiting for Ruby until the moment you had me arrested. Lady Felicia didn't leave the building. Then... where is she? Excuse me. I do beg your pardon. You won't get away with it. And if you wanted to pass incognito, you should really have changed your shoes. I'm keeping the diamonds. Leave the compartment, get off at the next stop, and nobody gets hurt. But somebody already has been hurt, haven't they? You killed Anne-Marie. That's absurd! I wasn't even in the country. And why on earth would I murder my own sister? But she WASN'T your sister, was she? Yours, I believe? You weren't in Africa. You were in Italy before you came to Kembleford, fought with Anne-Marie Adams on the day of Ruby's birthday, and then dropped that coin in the struggle. Father, you have a real talent for fiction. The photograph was a clever touch. That had me flummoxed for a while. How could I possibly fake that? You didn't. But your clothes weren't a costume. They were what you would have been wearing, as the nanny's son. I had it right the first time we met, didn't I? Mr Short? It must have been terrible for you, coming back from the Continent, discovering your mother had died. Visiting her grave and finding her buried like a pauper. Did you blame Anne-Marie for her death? This is nonsense! I suspect you must have thought the Adamses owed her more than that. Aged retainers should be pensioned off, not thrown out with the rubbish. But Anne-Marie couldn't give you a penny. WOULDN'T! So you decided to take the diamonds. She fought back and you killed her. It was an accident. But it wasn't an accident when you then decided to stand in as her brother, and take whatever he was set to inherit. The only person who suspected anything was Lady Felicia. I don't know what she spotted, but when she came on stage, she called for the police. Police! Oh, you're here! Help! Police! I wouldn't do that if I were you. Put your hands up. But that can't have been her line. She WAS the police. Shut up, or I'll shut you up! You'll never get away with this. Help me! Help! Oh! I only hope that was chloroform I smelt on your hanky, and that you haven't really hurt her. Is she really hurt? No, please! Tomato. I didn't harm Felicia. I just had to shut her up. As for Anne-Marie... I didn't mean to hurt her. She deserved everything she got. She deserved to die? For not paying your mother's pension? She brought up two generations of that family. They saw more of her than I ever did! And then when she got old, they turned her out without a penny. That's what killed her. Anne-Marie's the murderer, not me! But she didn't have a penny to give. They were as much paupers as your mother was. But... the will, the bequests! After the diamonds, her estate was bequeathed to the church. So we got a rather nice icon, a Bible, and two rosaries. The financial value of the bequest was precisely zero. Why didn't she just tell me? You hit a nerve. And I hear she had been drinking. She was plastered. I just wanted the money Mum was owed. Enough for a proper gravestone, for a start. You will give me what she is owed! You think you can tell me what to do, but you can't! If you won't give it to me, I'll take it! Leave me alone! I won't put up with this! Why didn't you go in, try to save her? I can't swim. Yes, I was angry, but I didn't want her dead. I loved her. Give me the diamonds. I'll return them to Ruby. As for Anne-Marie... give yourself up, pay for your crimes. You mean hang. No, it's manslaughter, not murder. It'll mean prison, but you'll give the father and the daughter justice. I suppose I don't have much choice. Better to give yourself up. Come quietly. Afternoon. Let me help you with the clasp. What are you waiting for?! Why didn't you stop him? You're always trying to save their souls. He lost his when he ran. You were trying to take him to the police. And so Ruby could get her inheritance back. Oh, any idiot could see your precious Flying Stars were as fake as HE was. You heard about Uncle... about the impostor? Mmm. Shouldn't be sad, should I? But, somehow... I guess the good news is, I still have an uncle. Even if he IS still in Nairobi. Dad, please, don't look like that! I'm sorry I was running away. I didn't think I had a choice. It's not just that. We're in debt. Up to our eyeballs. This place is about to be repossessed. Why didn't you tell me? I'll sell the Stars when they find them. They're crushed to dust. Diamonds don't crumble. No. But paste does. I might as well tell you now. I put the Stars in hock ten years ago. The necklace your mum left you was a good copy. But paste, nonetheless. I-I don't understand. If you're in that much debt, how could you ever hope to pay it off? Only by your marrying well. I wasn't against John because he's a tutor, or even because he's a Communist. But he can't provide for you. And nor can I. So what choice is there? You SHOULD be celebrating. Being taken for a fool? Losing my daughter? Having to admit we're close to losing our home? Gaining freedom. Sorry? Perhaps the truth is, this house is a burden to the next generation, not a legacy. Do you want to weigh your daughter down as you've been your whole life? And of course, you have another gain. A son-in-law. He's not a gold-digger. He would have taken her with nothing. I suppose you want my blessing, so you can marry them? Oh, I'll marry them with your blessing or without it. But why go all the way to Gretna Green when we have a perfectly good church here? Come on, Colonel - what do you say? Nice catch. Beautiful day for it. Reminds me of MY wedding day. Oh! Such a shame. Why do I always pick the wrong 'uns? So... spill the beans! Who's that? That's the REAL Uncle James. Ooh! Excuse me. Excuse me. Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1